raising the bar
this is the first job i’ve ever had (college work study not included) where i am not really responsible for anyone’s well-being. feels good; freeing. i’m paid in room and board. the room part lasted about three days. not for me. instead, i bartered for more free food. best of all: FREE non-bottled water. water, people! also free is the lessons i’ve learned about myself and the world around me.
you know you’re a bad bartender if…
– you’re always turning the music down.
– your o.c.d. compels you to clean up glasses and beers before people are done with them.
– you can’t remember anyone’s name.
– you can’t remember what anyone likes to drink.
– you refrain from socializing with customers for more than 10 minutes.
– you don’t actually know how to make any drinks.
– you’re constantly cleaning around people and making them move their arms.
– you drop hints about how everyone should go to bed soon.
– last call is about 30-45 minutes prior to closing.
– you refuse to give straws.
– you can’t recommend any drinks.
– you’re ridiculously bad at simple math and regularly give wrong change.
– it takes you a really long time to give wrong change.
– you’re a stickler for rules.
– you won’t drink with the customers.
– when girls get on the bar to dance you envision ceiling fan concussions and make them get down.
– you’re me.